Don't Drink The Water.

I am sparring at “Wildcat Boxing”, and drinking liberally from the community water bottle between rounds.  That is a mistake.  Normally, I bring my own water, but I left it on the living room table. I am fine until I start cooling down on the speed bag while small talking to “Bobby Parrillo”. A churning in my belly, accompanied by the gurgling noise was is only warning of something terrible to come. I barely make it to the toilet in time to purge myself of a seemingly endless stream of ass juice. After what seems like an insanely disproportionate amout of water evacuating out of my asshole compared to what I took in during the hour and 1/2 I was training, I figure it was safe to drive home. Quickly.

Home.

Glued to the goddamn toilet I’m strongly considering canceling my scene for the day.  I don’t have to be on set till 3:30, and its only about one, so I pop some Imodeum, and decide to tough it out. I make a point to take in as much water as possible, and every time I think I am OK, I’m back on the throne. Sitting on the toilet, I call Diana Devoe to cancel.

Hey, Tyler! I Have a surprise for you when you get to set!

A surprise? Who am I working with? You never told me.

And I’m not going to. Wait until you get here.

I have never canceled a scene, even working through  a 103 fever which I later found out was due to Strep, which interestingly enough was the first time I met Diana. Diana, a half Black, half Asian woman is an exotic beauty with razor-sharp wit, and a deep desire to nurture and care for people. You just want to do the best every time you are on her set for her.

Turns out I got Strep from “Lana Pierce”, and then three days later when I met Diana, I was fucking some girl doggy style on top of a narrow 3 foot wide boiler (funny because I was sweating rivers when everyone else was shivering) , 25 feet above the floor, and almost fell to my death.  Thinking it was just a cold, I didn’t even go to the doctor. I ended up in the hospital. A story for another day. Curiosity was killing me. Fuck it. I’ll man up.

3:30 pm
Northridge


I pull up to Diana’s house, and right away, I notice there are far more cars in the driveway than what is normal for a gonzo scene.

What the hell…

Walking up the driveway, the cellie rings.

“Hello?”


“IZ DIS MAH NIGGER!?”

“Sammie”

He tries to talk ghetto because he thinks it will make him sound cool, and fit in with the other trainers at Wildcat.

He is fresh off the boat from Korea.

I thumb down the volume on the handset to one.

“I’m sure you mean ‘My Nigga.’” I said.

“When you gonna hook a brothuh up wit some phat azz ho’s to holla at?”

“You like black girls?”

“Stop playin’! You know how I get down! I gotz to keep it real!”

“What do you want Sammie?”

“You bounced so fast outta dis muthafucka dis mornin’, you forgot your mouthpiece yo!”

An old woman walking a beagle in a sweater stops at the edge of the driveway. She is looking at me as if to remind me of my forgotten manners.

“Thanks man.” I say

“Don’t sweat it mah man. You know how I do! Ima see you tomorrow?!”

“Err…yeah…you cool with 7am?”

“Oh you know I’m cool homie!”

Right.

The old woman is picking up dog shit with a plastic bag. She ties the handles as if it’s a shoe. They walk off.

My stomach is giving me fits again.

“Look, I gotta go Sammie. Work. You’re not cheap.”

“Aiight…Tru dat nigger!”

*sigh*

Line goes dead. I make a call.

“WIIILDCAAAATT!

“Mac, it’s Tyler. Do me a favor…get my mouthpiece from Sammie. He’s drunk again.

I enter the ranch style house without knocking, and head straight for the bathroom.

This time, I puke violently.

After brushing my teeth, I exit the bathroom, and standing next to the door is s striking young red-head with wet hair, as if fresh from a shower. She is dressed in a shiny leather jacket, and skirt outfit, with matching fuck me boots. The clothes look very expensive.

“TYYYYLEEERRR!!!!” she squeals, near tackling me.

“Um. Hi?

“How arrre yooooouu?” dragging me by the hand back into the bathroom, and heeling the door shut with deft economy of motion. She kisses me deeply, and is hiking up her skirt.

Who the fuck is this?

Tearing away for a moment.” I’m great. you look uhh…great.”

“You took my porn virginity!” Snatching my cock out of my pants, as she hops up to  sit on the sink. “That scene we did for David Luger was my first ever scene! Look at me now!”
More kissing.  Everything is a blur as she shoves my cock into her pussy.

I do not fight.

I have been in the house less than 2 minutes up to this point, and I am about to come.

What the hell is wrong with me!?

“Whoa…I have to do a scene…can we resume this later sometime?”

“OK…g’bye gorgeous! Good to see you again!”
She leaves.

Wiping my dick off with baby wipes, I feel my inards twist.

Dry heaving into the toilet.

When it settles down, I exit too, and make my way to the room next to the bathroom. There is an exotic looking Pacific Island  girl with bleached blonde hair sitting quietly with a magazine, and a built to fuck Latina girl in neon blue fishnets. I want to throw her on the floor and cum in her.

Latina Girl:” Hi, I’m “Lisa Florez’”.

Hello, I’m Tyler

I know silly!

Nice to meet you Lisa.

You’re hot.

Thanks.

How big is your cock?

Um..average?

Lemme see it.

Now?

Yes. Now.

Er. OK.
As I am about to drop my pants, another pretty red-head  enters the room. It’s “Tracy” the director’s assistant. She has a bossy girl next door vibe, and a great ass.

Tracy: Tyler, can’t you wait? God!

I  uhh..

Tracy: Lets go…Diana wants to see you!

Lisa, giggling : Bye Tyler.

Walking down the hallway we pass a mulatto girl  sitting on a series of black cube cushions with gelled back hair primping herself in a compact mirror.  In the kitchen, Diana the director is fussing over a tray of brownies.

Tracy; Look what I found molesting the girls.

Diana, hugging me: Want a brownie?

Me: Actually no…my stomach is killing me.

Diana: Whats wrong?

Me: Dunno…I’m quite nauseous really. Almost canceled.  If it were anyone but you, I would have.

Tracy: I’ll be right back. I have something for your nausea. I watch her tight ass skip out of the kitchen.

Me: Hey, who the hell was that red-head in the leather that just left? She raped me. Said I did her first scene.

Diana: LOL, that was “Tanya Ryan”.

Me: Wow. She was so innocent a month ago. Did not recognize her!

Diana: Yeah, she LOVES to fuck…. Anyway you’ll be glad you did not cancel.

Me:I saw three girls here.  Which girl am I working with?

Pausing for effect.

Smiles.

Diana: All of them.

Me: Fuckin A’!

Tracy bounces back into the kitchen. She is packing green stuff into a multi colored glass pipe.

Tracy: Follow me.

We are in the back yard.

You don’t smoke, so I’m only gonna give you a little bit, OK?

I dunno Tracy…

Relax, you’ll be fine. Come here!

Tracy takes a hit from the pipe. Sweet smelling fumes seep from the mouth piece.

She grabs my head, and kisses me

Deeply.

Harsh smoke follow the laws of osmosis, and fill my mouth.

Tracy: “Inhale it
Hold it ….
OK breathe it out.. slowly”
she says.

Tyler:*cough-COUGH!*
She smiles.

Jesus, there is nothing better than a beautiful young girl gracing you with a smile.

My throat feels like I am wind sprinting in a forest fire.

She takes another hit from the pipe.

Like magic, the smoke hangs in her mouth as she quasi talks to me. “COME HERE! Open your mouth. OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

I am erect.

More coughing. Tracy is giggling. “Just sit there for a moment. And coughing is good…speeds up the effect.” I remember the first time I ever saw Tracy. Diana was living on the other side of the hill like me, and Tracy was wearing these cute little shorts. White shortts. We did a scene shortly there afterward forthe director “Alpha Man”, in which we won an AVN. My first.  I find this girls personality intoxicattting. I want to reach out andd kiss her agai, sans the glass pipe, but this moment is really cool and I want to just sit here for a mmmmoment  but I know I have to do a scene but an infinately heave unvisible weight is on my chest pinning me down  where i ssssssssit I go to say something to tracy, the fuck if I know what, because I feel Ym teeht tingling as i caTCH the edge of ThouGHT ghRaspin at smoke in my mind{

futile.
futile.

LOL the firat time i smoked out was with a beauftuL Girl too, Was at a p   ar   ty I mever soked bwfore i was ?whaT thorty et the time////?????????????

.ledoM    kcaLB  degGel
………………………………….gn
………………………………………o
…………………………………………L

………………………………………….L

………………………………………….L

…………………………………………A

…………………………………………T

………………………………….That
……………………………….colate pussey
…………………………….o                              g
ALL     Six feet of     ch                                       oodness.


“HAha your high tyler. ! “

“Nah uhh….No I ammmmmmmmmmmm   nOT!”

“yah u are tyrel…you Juts Said the w0rd [ “MY”", and   t    h       e          n      you laffd.”

ThE 4 waY SeX scEen

i am in the ro0m now and there are three ssssssexy young girls and a concernewd direstdor looking at me is if i am a fucking idioHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Keep it together GoddamiT! yure a fucking professioHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJAHJAHAHAHAAJK

mE–> *cough cough*

Christ. I-am-sorry. Please- do-not-fire mE-HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaaHAhAhahHAhH
ahAHHAhAHHAHahahakmjnhbgtfrHAH!”

*cough-COugh!*

Tracy: He’s high. I smoeked hiimoutbecause hewasfeelingsicksoIgavehimafewhitsofkush.

DiIIanuh—>“Kusssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? LOL! Tylur doen ‘moke.  at all!’


Action!
<—Dianna (I thiiiiiiiiink)

wow lookat ther pretty swing sling thingy hang ing from th e ceiling with the thingys thay t look like you  can put y our leggs thru the holes.  that s kinda neet the girls are taking my pants off
t
h
r
ee
hunnngry mouths on my dick vibrating like a tooning fork
$luuUUUUUUUUp Slurp sssssssluuuurp!

Sweett sti2ky COTTNE candy
ohlook i am fuckingthe pretty asiangirl in the sling.
meaty pussY li
lips wrapped a
eround my coc
k on my back.now. molaseeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
joosy ass and pussssyy takin g turns on my cock and im on my back as more stickypussy andasssitting on myface,,,,, and my teeth are

ting-

ling as i feel the nubs of twopairs oftastebuds on mmmmmmmmmycock……. kissinglatina chica “Damme me mas mamita
tu
eres
mi
ennncaaaaaant-a
“-asses all shiny linedup side by side ….sink-my-cock into one then go donw thelinne to the“NEXT!”

on mty backagainmorewet n0ises mydickf e3ls so warm pretyyy face smashing into mine ultratight ass cheekk in my hand suck that niple! gentle pu$$y sliding sloo00ooolyup  and down my cock…………………….
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
UUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

“w3 got it. CuTT!” <– — – - I like dianuh. she is pritiy

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3 Comments

  1. Amanda

    Wow that is. Hilarious. How much fun did you have writing this one?

    Posted September 8, 2009 at 9:13 pm | Permalink
  2. Steve

    Truly cool writing man :)

    Posted September 15, 2009 at 9:22 pm | Permalink
  3. Fergus

    If you haven’t read EE Cummings you’re doing a fair job of channeling him anyway in that last section.

    Posted June 24, 2010 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

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